I'm a Nigerian girl, so what?

Hey there!

I would like to begin my post by asking this question.
When you see or hear of an African(not African-American) woman, what's the first thing that comes into your mind?
1. Humble?
2. Serene?
3. Obedient?
4. Home bound?
5. Modest?
4. Traditional?
If you chose any of the following , you are definitely following the African woman stereotype but it's okay because it's actually not too far from the truth. Long ago when missionaries from England were travelling around the world selling tickets for the train to heaven and salvation, we Nigerians were busy hunting, worshipping idols and fighting wars. Nigerian women then were either on the farm, at home weaving, cooking, trying to control their kids or being kept in some fattening home some where waiting for her suitors to come and 'buy' her, famous Nigerian books like Chinua Achebe's Thing's Fall Apart give a detailed description of how life away from civilization was. Fast forward 50 years after Nigeria's independence and we are still having the same frame of mind that shows you that the 'pale skins' teaching didn't didn't really do much to shake our traditional 'values'.
       
       Nigerian women have really come a long way, from only restricted to doing 'feminine' jobs to taking over the political and business world but that doesn't mean that much has changed on how we view the Nigerian woman. To give you an example, I start my day in the morning with doing my bit of the chores. I got the share of taking care of the kitchen because there is some stinking notion that girls are supposed to be confined in the kitchen while my brother's got others like taking care of the living room and putting on the generator when there is power outage. When I'm done, I take a half-a- mile walk to school which I tell you becomes easier and easier when you do it every day. When you come into our class room, you can tell that there is something odd, we girls seat at the front of the classroom while the boys go squeeze themselves at the back going all hey we're cool. The reason why they stay at the back is not to stay away from cooties but because they have this notion that because they're boys they are higher in social status, sitting themselves at the back so they can examine and talk about us the way you would price meat at the market or use the opportunity to watch the latest porn when the lesson becomes too boring for them to handle. I was one of the few girls who sat at the back but had to move my position to the front because of the oven-like heat radiating from there, because of my forceful personality and my strong determination not to be pushed around, I am labelled like some kind of monster or someone that people should steer away from. The male teachers don't make life any better, as they socialise with the boys in objectifying us or make stupid statements like "you see these girls, someone is going to claim them someday" and other comments that will make most feminists go for their shotguns.

           I remember once we were having a lesson and for some reason the topic deviated to marriage, a boy made a comment to us girls. He said that what's the use of us going to school, we are still going to end up in our husbands' houses as housewives. It took all my willpower not to diminish him, so I calmly told him that not all girls(myself included) are going to get married. He just laughed like I had said not all humans are human beings, I insisted this until he had no choice but to shut up. These kind of stereotypes that all women must get married, have kids and serve their husbands are the reason why most girls are shelled, silenced and chained, not allowed to explore the vast number of things they can do with their life. The most hurtful thing is that these stereotypes are further fuelled by family members, back home as the eldest sibling and a girl I have responsibilities that I know would never be given to my brothers if either of them were the oldest but to the demise of my mother and all my female relatives(thanks to years of living with only my father and brothers), I am not the ordinary-silent tongued-meek-obedient girl that they were. I do most things that they describe as being typical of boys like playing rough with my bro's, loving video games,beer, comic books, throwing things around and loving tough sports, even my choice of course in college tells you that I'm not the girly-girl. Due to my parents separation and living with my dad, I have developed a males frame of mind and I love it. When I express my hatred for make up, dresses, high heels, female get together, female gender roles, pink and marriage, the women in my family look at me like one of the living room chairs had practically started talking or they will make patronising comments like "you will like it in the future" or "don't worry, you will love it more than we do when you're grown up" or the worst " you are a woman, you will do it" like they have some kind of third eye that can view the very depths of my soul. My strong beliefs about marriage, female gender roles, guys having the easier way of life once made my mother suspect I was gay(LOL!).

         I for one think that it's not only unfair but it is wrong that girls/women should be chained to these gender roles, they are the cause of the suffering and restrictions most Nigerian women/girls go through. These beliefs root form young age where boys are made to believe that girls are beneath them and girls are brainwashed into believing that the only way of life is marriage and submission, and they are the main causes of domestic violence, discrimination and social stigma that most Nigerian females got through.

         I'm a Nigerian girl, I love sports, video games, hanging out with boys, beer, throwing things around, watching wrestling, don't want to get married and don't believe in female gender roles. So what?

           I believe that we have to break Nigerian women free of these stereotypes and gender roles. what do you think?